There’s this saying… “Sex is like cold pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” What kind of self-loving forever-alone son of a bitch came up with this garbage? I’m not going to compare cold pizza to getting laid, why? If you’re satisfied lying down next to something cold, ridged, crusty and that was man-handled and felt up by some hairy dude with sauce on his shirt the night before… then you really need to get off the computer and meet new people.
I hope everyone has had a pleasant holiday, filled with people you love and delicious food. As the new year is upon us, I want to tell you about this great food related idea I have; a new Shut Up and Eat project that will take Montreal like a mid-winter snow storm. I will open a gym and call it “Resolutions” for the month of January, which will become a restaurant full of slimming carnival mirrors for the other 11 months. Great idea, n’est pas?
What’s your pizza style? Thin crust, thick crust, deep-dish, stuffed crust… *shudder* Frozen? Before I go any further, if you aren’t able to tell the difference between a frozen pizza and delivery, then we can’t be friends. Straight up, the amount of anxiety and frustration that I have to deal with every time that stupid commercial comes on tv pisses me off. Pizza is one of the most perfect foods, unless you’re some jerk, pizza is always something everyone can agree on; you pick what you want on it, and someone BRINGS IT TO YOUR HOUSE! What more can you want? There are the purists out there who will chastise any pizza that isn’t a plain fresh tomato sauce with Bufala mozzarella, sprinkled with freshly chiffonaded basil. I knew this one guy who wouldn’t eat a pizza unless it was proscuitto with arugula and drizzled with olive oil – his reason was, that’s the only “true pizza” and that’s how it’s done in Italy. Yes, pizza like that is tasty and appreciated when made with the freshest ingredients, but I didn’t know how he was able to do it, I mean to be able to eat and enjoy a pizza with a stick so far up his ass, is beyond me.