Whether it be during the holidays, or entertaining guests from out of town, if you admit to it or not, we’ve all be guilty of over eating and all the wonderful stuff that comes with it. The post-glutton depression, the various “sweats” brought on by various meats and that sinking feeling at the bottom of your stomach, this my friends is the “event horizon”; the moment when you started to feel full, starts to be eclipsed by the feeling of you hating yourself. All the things that happen when you find yourself heaved over the side of the sofa living an anti-acid TV commercial. That being said, to exercise these caloric daemons and detox my body of impurities, I couldn’t find a better way to cleanse my emotional palate than to break some Indian food against my face.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, the concept of “brunch” is so arbitrary to me, it’s been fetishized, set to a bunch of unspoken culinary meal to time matrix regulations that people dictate their sundays based on when and what they eat – as I so eloquently expressed my view here. I mean, I understand how sometimes cereal is good at any time of day, and how some times people will have “breakfast for dinner”. I actually knew someone who wouldn’t eat pancakes or eggs benedict because those foods are reserved for sundays ONLY – I nearly had an aneurysm when she tried to explain her reasoning to me… Man, I don’t know if people are starting to get more and more annoying, or I’m starting to hate more and more people.
If you’ve been following me on Twitter lately, you would have noticed the influx of my tweets bitching about how I wanted pizza; and even by that I wouldn’t say it was bitching, more than it was a deep yearning that bordered on obsessive and annoying. Like a 5 month old wants a boob when he or she is hungry; the shrill cry of the animalistic response taking over its little body, screaming and shaking and turning red until the soothing comfort of a mother’s milker touches his or her’s lips… now picture that, but instead of that, picture me slamming the keys on my laptop making sure people know how badly I want pizza… thick crust, thin crust, stuffed crust, pepperoni, sausage, bacon, arugula, anchovies, fucking pineapples, I wanted it all, I.needed.it.all.