I’m not a big fan of DIY anything let alone when it has anything to do with food. Having to put together my girl’s Ikea closet unit last week, I went through six different tools, an extension cord, two t-shirts and googling the instruction booklet (having ripped it when it got trapped under the stupid thing and when I brilliantly tried to pull it out.) The shit said that two people would be able to assemble this two-metre tall unit, but they failed to mention only if your names and Bjorn and Sven and are 7-feet tall and can bench a deer. So imagine my dismay when I was expected to cook/assemble my own food… especially when I was a paying customer at a restaurant.
Category:
Downtown
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, the concept of “brunch” is so arbitrary to me, it’s been fetishized, set to a bunch of unspoken culinary meal to time matrix regulations that people dictate their sundays based on when and what they eat – as I so eloquently expressed my view here. I mean, I understand how sometimes cereal is good at any time of day, and how some times people will have “breakfast for dinner”. I actually knew someone who wouldn’t eat pancakes or eggs benedict because those foods are reserved for sundays ONLY – I nearly had an aneurysm when she tried to explain her reasoning to me… Man, I don’t know if people are starting to get more and more annoying, or I’m starting to hate more and more people.
If you’ve been following me on Twitter lately, you would have noticed the influx of my tweets bitching about how I wanted pizza; and even by that I wouldn’t say it was bitching, more than it was a deep yearning that bordered on obsessive and annoying. Like a 5 month old wants a boob when he or she is hungry; the shrill cry of the animalistic response taking over its little body, screaming and shaking and turning red until the soothing comfort of a mother’s milker touches his or her’s lips… now picture that, but instead of that, picture me slamming the keys on my laptop making sure people know how badly I want pizza… thick crust, thin crust, stuffed crust, pepperoni, sausage, bacon, arugula, anchovies, fucking pineapples, I wanted it all, I.needed.it.all.