Do you like Chinese food? Of course you do; no one in their right mind can’t resist the sights and smells of Chinese cuisine… well maybe vegans… vegans and assholes. Picture this: sitting down in your favourite Chinese spot ready to smash on some awesome chow mein or braised pork belly and mustard greens, and you serve yourself, stick your chopsticks upright in your bowl of soy sauce ladened white rice and the place screeches to a halt. Like any other culture, there are certain customs and etiquettes that one must – at least should – recognize before you bring shame to your house for three generations and face is lost. Here is your definitive guide to DOs and DON’Ts in a Chinese restaurant.
Have you ever been for Chinese hot pot (fondue)? I have fond memories of this Sunday night ritual around our house. Our family crowded around our kitchen table over a boiling pot of simmering aromatic brother sitting on a butane burner. Cooking platefuls of quick cooking ingredients like thinly sliced beef and lamb, to noodles and strainers upon strainers and fresh greens was our family meal that ended the weekend. By fun I don’t actually mean the family fun time cooking over a communal pot; I’m talking about my dad yelling at my oldest sister for bailing to go out and see her boyfriend my parents didn’t like, the other two talking on the phone and being a picky eater and then me busting out a random nosebleed out of no where. Whether or not you share this kind of memory or have never had hot pot before, here’s a spot where you can.
You know what I really love? When I ask people for recommendations for a specific cuisine or dish and my earholes are filed with answers like, “My mom makes THE BEST enchiladas,” or “Oh! There’s a spot in Ville St. Laurent that made THE BEST tacos… but now it’s a Jean Cotu.” So unless you want me to ring your mom’s door on an off night where my visit isn’t scheduled, don’t tell me that she makes the best burritos because I’m going to go looking for some. Recently I asked around looking for tacos. Honest, simple and true to the bone kind of tacos. Questioned with a warning of an imminent slap to the face if answered with a location that isn’t accessible, I asked my people for the good tacos.
In honour of today being Chinese New Year, I’ve finally decided to make my parents proud for once and am pursuing my new career in otolaryngology. If you don’t know what that is, it’s the study of ears, nose and throat. I should also mention that by otolaryngology and the study of ears, nose and throat, I really mean dunking my thick head in the nearest bowl of steaming noodle soup to study how much of it I can eat before surfacing for air. To kick off year 4712 like an S Club party, ‘cos an S Club party don’t stop, I’m going to fill you in on the top 5 Asian noodle soups you need to know about.
Whether you’re from Montreal or visiting, there are certain things Like Toronto has their overcompensating inferiority complex and Vancouver’s ski slopes and weed, Montreal has a great cast things… delicious things that we are known for. Foods and dishes that are uniquely our own and that we share with the rest of the world, here are Montreal’s top 10 iconic Montreal foods.
I love bread. I once bought a bread maker from Canadian Tire and made all sorts of bread; nutty kinds with different grains and dried fruit, then I went through a vegetable phase and made loaves with zucchini and carrots… for like a week and never touched the thing again. There are things that you need to leave up to the professionals, roof repairs, off-shore oil drilling, cellphone unlocking and bread making. I recently hit up this spot in the Mile-end that has been giving the people of Montreal bread boners claiming them to make the “best bread” in the city.
ChinatownCote-des-NeigesDowntownFoodLatin QuarterNDG / WestmountOld Montreal / Old PortRosemontSaint-ÉdouardVille Marie
Shut Up and Eat’s Best of 2013
by Jason
written by Jason
Making list of the past year’s most memorable meals is like asking a parent to try and pick their favourite child… In the past year, I can safely say that I may have had more than one memorable meal that consisted of mind blasting dishes that I periodically reminisce about, recounting tastes and flavours, textures and cooking techniques like some sort of culinary Rain Man. Going back revisiting past reviews and write-ups about some of Montreal’s tastiest tables, not only led me to realize the calibre of gastronomic fortitude that this city encompasses, but the skill, passion and talent that exudes from kitchens across the island both new and old.
More often than not, first time travellers to Montreal arrive in the city packing mental notes of tips and directions of where to go, what to see and reservations to make. Profiling a “real” visit to Montreal by locals will probably run a list of insider things to do and NOT to do while dispelling general ball-busting fears that are conditioned unto the traveler such as Montrealers only speak French, unruly riots that still parade the city supporting various causes, drinking milk from bags while running from Jesuits trying to convert you. Besides the typical taking in the sights and sounds of Montreal, ask any local and they’ll be sure to mention a handful of things that not only are we proud to call our own, but will fight anyone to the death that oppose our claim of having the best of… one of those things are bagels.
Picture it… you’re sitting at your favourite Chinese restaurant and your order arrives at your table. An order that’s wafting with steam that tantalizes senses of tables that line the walkway from the moment the waiter kicks open the dual swinging doors from the kitchen where if you looked at the right moments, you can catch a quick glimpse of fiery woks masterfully manipulated by deft hands, and random men in white short sleeve shirts and paper hats counting lotto tickets and calculating sports odds. Placed in front of you are the collection of the most colourful menu items listed; various deep fried meats in fluorescent coloured Kool-aid reduction sauces; General Tao chicken, lemon chicken, sweet and sour pork and honey spareribs. You look over to the next table and see some guy ordering without even looking at the menu and in 15 mins is presented with an array of dishes that you don’t recall seeing on the menu. Could it be? The mysterious “Chinese” menu? The menu by which all Chinese people order from that most non-asians will never see? YES…! And I was that dude.
As you may or may not know, I’m a big fan of dim sum. Not just the small little dumplings stacked high in billowing steamers and other savoury delights, but it’s the dim sum experience as a whole. Getting to the restaurant at prime time when the lady on a loud speaker is calling out table numbers in more than the Quebec standard languages as people clammer to the front to try and sneak their way in is just part of the weekend brunch routine. If you’re new to the dim sum scene and aren’t sure of what to order, I have a section of the blog dedicated to the meal – Dim Sum for Dummies, where I profile some of the less common dishes. It’s a work in progress, as I’m always adding to it – there are hundreds of different items! We are not always fortunate enough to head down to Chinatown or get to a restaurant that serves dim sum and will ultimately have to rely on the frozen counterparts. I realize this I took it upon myself to take on the responsibility to test different kinds of FROZEN dim sum.